1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:14,646 When I try to remind myself to be mindful when listening to someone, I actually lose track of what the other person is saying because then I'm not focused on the whole but just the parts of what is being said. 2 00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:28,300 How can I be mindful in conversation and also be able to process what the other person is saying? 3 00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:53,325 I've practiced that myself where I've been in conversation situations and somebody's waffling on and I'm just noting, you know, listening, listening or hearing, hearing, whichever one you want to use to note. 4 00:00:54,757 --> 00:00:57,040 It depends on the conversation. 5 00:00:57,100 --> 00:01:01,866 If you're in direct communication with someone, I think it's a little bit harder to do. 6 00:01:02,487 --> 00:01:15,583 But if you're in a group conversation and there are different people talking back and forth and you're not really involved, it's more possible. 7 00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:27,004 So for personal experience, it's quite a task to be communicating one-to-one and noting that you're hearing. 8 00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:32,411 You could most probably regulate the noting. 9 00:01:32,431 --> 00:01:37,178 So you're not saying in your mind, hearing, hearing, hearing, over and over and over again. 10 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:42,786 Just note that you're hearing and then listen to the words as the person talks. 11 00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:47,303 And then if you're answering a question, then answer the question. 12 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:51,367 Yeah, it's tough. 13 00:01:55,491 --> 00:02:03,418 I don't personally think or find that the noting itself gets in the way of the understanding. 14 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:09,143 But there's a lot more that goes on when you attempt to note. 15 00:02:10,444 --> 00:02:13,026 You can find yourself 16 00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:18,795 suppressing or forcing the mind into certain states. 17 00:02:20,778 --> 00:02:28,568 You find it difficult because your mind is accustomed to reacting. 18 00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:36,539 So you find yourself reacting and then trying to repress the reactions or reacting to the reactions. 19 00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:42,827 And so because you're breaking it up and because it's actually a real task, 20 00:02:43,398 --> 00:02:54,589 because it's not something that is comfortable for someone who's not proficient in it, it's easy to get off track. 21 00:02:55,329 --> 00:02:59,574 So suddenly you'll start to think about something else and lose track of what's being said. 22 00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:01,095 You'll start to think about the meditation. 23 00:03:01,195 --> 00:03:02,356 Oh, am I doing it correctly? 24 00:03:02,456 --> 00:03:06,961 Or even, am I understanding what they're saying? 25 00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,422 Oh, I'm not understanding what they're saying. 26 00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:11,565 And suddenly you lose it. 27 00:03:11,798 --> 00:03:16,424 The noting itself still leaves room for processing. 28 00:03:18,547 --> 00:03:27,879 It doesn't stop the mind from, or the brain or the mind from processing the meaning of the words. 29 00:03:29,021 --> 00:03:41,417 Not necessarily. 30 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:49,559 So if your intention is to understand what is being said, you can still couple that with mindfulness. 31 00:03:49,619 --> 00:03:59,673 So you're mindful of it, and then you process what is being said, and then you're mindful back about what they're saying next, and you process it, and so on. 32 00:04:00,334 --> 00:04:07,224 But yeah, it's a question of what your intention is. 33 00:04:07,284 --> 00:04:11,910 If your intention is just to meditate, then as Owen said, just let them rattle on and say hearing, hearing, hearing. 34 00:04:13,308 --> 00:04:42,454 many times you don't really need to know what they've said unless it's an important conversation then it's a question of priorities well your priority is to process what they're saying so don't give that up don't dedicate yourself wholly to being mindful and noting the mental event of processing and cancel that as well don't get yourself too focused on 35 00:04:42,704 --> 00:04:47,310 the actual sound, so that you lose the mental aspect. 36 00:04:47,330 --> 00:05:01,828 I mean, the key of meditation is to purify the mind, purify the processing of the mind, not to stop it, not even to stop the mind from thinking, but to purify that process, so that thinking is only thinking. 37 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:09,017 So that there's no reaction to it. 38 00:05:09,678 --> 00:05:11,040 You understand it for what it is. 39 00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:22,973 So it's possible to get into a state where you just know it as sound, but it's also possible to know it just as concepts, thoughts in the mind. 40 00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:24,495 This means this, this means that. 41 00:05:24,595 --> 00:05:29,481 Even arahants do that, and they're always mindful. 42 00:05:34,586 --> 00:05:40,673 But yeah, if you focus too much on it, especially when it's not a familiar practice, it can be 43 00:05:43,420 --> 00:06:11,402 problematic so it doesn't mean to stop I would say do it back and forth and try to yes of course be mindful but you you should certainly not stop being mindful in conversation but you might want to alternate it so not always noting let yourself think let yourself process even let yourself react because you can't stop the reactions and when the reactions come just 44 00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:13,811 Watch the reactions as well. 45 00:06:14,693 --> 00:06:15,454 Be mindful of them. 46 00:06:15,494 --> 00:06:21,202 If you're angry, say angry, angry, liking, liking, so on. 47 00:06:21,222 --> 00:06:22,364 And then go back to listening. 48 00:06:25,729 --> 00:06:28,433 But I think the real problem is not the mindfulness. 49 00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:31,598 It's the over-focusing and repressing. 50 00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:37,086 And I was in that state after I finished my first course, which didn't really go very well. 51 00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:44,633 one of the teachers was talking to me, and I just said to her, I said, I can't understand what you're saying. 52 00:06:44,653 --> 00:06:46,879 I said, don't come to, that's never happened to me since. 53 00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:53,016 I was really in a bad way, because I was really realizing how messed up my mind was.