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After a psychedelic experience, I realized the ego is not real.

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I feel this has had a lasting impression on me.

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I have tried to use meditation to help me stay tethered to this state, but I feel myself clinging to old patterns.

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What should I do?

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We should break this up into, I guess, let's say two parts.

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I can see two parts here that are essential, two different things that you have to be able to break up.

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Now the Buddha was described as a Vibhajavading.

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So what distinguishes the Buddha's teaching is his ability to separate realities and not get them muddled.

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Now you say you had a realization.

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Now that's momentary.

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There's a realization that the ego is not real.

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Then you say this had a lasting impression on you.

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So something resulted from that realization.

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These are two different things.

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So you want to stay tethered to the state, which for sure is the second one, the latter, this usually pleasant, calm, peaceful, something like that, something positive, something that is actually clung to as a result.

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It's something that is pleasant,

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it's a relief from suffering but it's also impermanent suffering and non-self and so when you cling to that you feel unpleasant you feel frustrated you feel discouraged because you can't cling to it because it disappears now the knowledge

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But it doesn't really matter.

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The knowledge came and went.

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The knowledge was something, the realization was something that most likely came from your, well, you say it came from a psychedelic experience, but it was a trigger for some peaceful, pleasant, powerful state, some state of, a state that you equate with a realization, with an enlightenment of some sort.

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But that state is a positive state, meaning positive in the sense that it's something that has arisen.

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And anything that arises ceases.

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So that state is not something that should be clinging to.

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In fact, what you're clinging to, you're not just clinging to old patterns, you're also clinging to this state.

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So you're trying to stay tethered to a state which is wrong, which is a...

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a cause for clinging.

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It's something that will create more attachment, partiality, you're partial to this state.

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Why I'm giving this such a treatment is because this is common.

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It's common for people to have these realizations and then say, but I couldn't keep it.

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What do you mean you couldn't keep it?

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A realization is a moment.

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So what you're talking about keeping is this powerful state that's temporary but comes from a release.

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It's something that is a relief to you.

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And so you cling to that and as a result want it to come back.

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Realizations are like, you could say, like meals along the way.

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They rejuvenate you.

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But it's not the realization that we're looking for.

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The final goal is something that isn't clung to, can't be clung to.

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It's not a positive state in the sense that it doesn't arise.

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It's the cessation.

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and that's nirvana and there would be no clinging there can be no clinging to that it's something different so be very careful not to cling to the product of your realizations these insights that come don't cling to them it's called jnana when we cling to knowledge it's a upakilesa it's a defilement or a detriment to our practice keeps us from progressing