1 00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:03,273 What is your view on having sex as a Buddhist? 2 00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:06,900 Are you, for example, allowed to have multiple sexual relationships? 3 00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:08,402 I put the emphasis wrong. 4 00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:16,977 I'm not allowed to have any sexual relationships, but are you means in general, right? 5 00:00:16,957 --> 00:00:26,118 So in general, a lay person, put it in general, because sensual desire is evil. 6 00:00:26,739 --> 00:00:27,481 It's an evil. 7 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:32,873 This is Buddhist word evil. 8 00:00:32,853 --> 00:00:35,957 Because the meaning of the word evil is something that is going to lead you to suffer. 9 00:00:36,358 --> 00:00:41,144 Now, the core of Buddhism is that desire leads you to suffer. 10 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:46,211 Wanting something leads you to try to get it. 11 00:00:46,432 --> 00:00:50,657 When you try to get it, it changes your life. 12 00:00:51,639 --> 00:00:58,388 You want to get something, so you have to work for it, and that changes your whole universe in some small way. 13 00:00:58,368 --> 00:01:00,898 And that's going to create more stress. 14 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:06,100 It's going to create more dissatisfaction and suffering. 15 00:01:07,649 --> 00:01:10,555 So undeniably it's a bad thing. 16 00:01:11,376 --> 00:01:12,438 But the question is how bad? 17 00:01:12,699 --> 00:01:14,963 Is it really going to get in the way of your meditation practice? 18 00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:15,945 No, probably not. 19 00:01:17,108 --> 00:01:25,144 Excessive sex or multiple sexual relationships can get in your way, whether it's with one person or with many people. 20 00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:29,472 In fact, many people would be more deleterious for your practice. 21 00:01:30,802 --> 00:01:35,610 It's not a horrible thing in Buddhism to have multiple sexual relationships. 22 00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:39,616 The problem comes where you are deceiving people. 23 00:01:39,957 --> 00:01:48,490 This is where real bad, this is where it gets really bad, and where it gets really, where you might really start to say, this is evil. 24 00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:51,033 It's really evil when you start deceiving people. 25 00:01:51,174 --> 00:01:56,821 And that's where it really cuts your practice and starts heading you in the opposite direction. 26 00:01:56,841 --> 00:01:58,083 It doesn't just slow you down. 27 00:01:58,143 --> 00:02:00,866 It starts heading you in the wrong direction. 28 00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:04,351 When you're sleeping around. 29 00:02:04,571 --> 00:02:11,581 When you have a monogamous relationship and are committed to it and then are cheating on that person. 30 00:02:11,761 --> 00:02:17,869 Or someone else is in a monogamous relationship and you're sleeping with them. 31 00:02:17,849 --> 00:02:21,474 This kind of thing, this is where it really gets trouble. 32 00:02:21,534 --> 00:02:30,067 If you're in a polygamous relationship, this is not a corrupt evil in Buddhism. 33 00:02:30,167 --> 00:02:32,731 And, you know, really, I don't know. 34 00:02:33,572 --> 00:02:34,614 I've thought about this a lot. 35 00:02:35,115 --> 00:02:43,327 And you look at it, it's really what never was seen as such. 36 00:02:43,387 --> 00:02:45,510 And I don't know where it became, but it's kind of this 37 00:02:46,942 --> 00:02:55,496 maybe even Protestantism that turned it into such a horrible thing to have a polygamous relationship. 38 00:02:56,478 --> 00:03:00,985 If anything, it seems to be what God designed us for. 39 00:03:01,045 --> 00:03:02,748 One man, many women. 40 00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:04,791 Look at nature. 41 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:10,941 It's not always, but with monkeys, for example, chimpanzees, 42 00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:15,628 It's very common to see polygamous relationships, right? 43 00:03:15,648 --> 00:03:16,990 We see it all the time in the forest. 44 00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:20,936 One big monkey and he's going around, he's got all these women. 45 00:03:22,298 --> 00:03:29,389 So the problem isn't that it's a matter of... It's in a category of its own. 46 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:30,551 It's not in a category. 47 00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:31,652 It's just fairly extreme. 48 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:37,160 The more sex and the more diverse sex you have, the more it's going to get in the way of your practice. 49 00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,544 It hasn't crossed the line of being... 50 00:03:39,524 --> 00:03:42,167 Immoral in the sense of leading you backwards yet. 51 00:03:42,908 --> 00:04:00,488 It's not leading you in the wrong It is but it can still be be Worked out through meditation if you start cheating on people if you start lying and deceiving people breaking up relationships That makes your meditation very very difficult in a very different way. 52 00:04:00,548 --> 00:04:02,190 So that's categorically different. 53 00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:02,410 I 54 00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:05,032 This has to be understood. 55 00:04:07,134 --> 00:04:08,596 But it has to also be understood. 56 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,958 I don't want you to say that, oh, polygamy is fine, go for it. 57 00:04:11,839 --> 00:04:21,528 It's really going to get in your way and it's going to make you, you know, sex in general, but for sure, promiscuity and polygamy will for sure drive you crazy. 58 00:04:22,189 --> 00:04:26,012 Your mind will become more and more and more attached to it. 59 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:29,115 The best thing is to give it up and start looking at the sexual desire. 60 00:04:29,175 --> 00:04:32,278 Give it up, be celibate, and start looking at the celibate 61 00:04:32,258 --> 00:04:33,219 Looking at the desire. 62 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:36,662 If you happen to break your celibacy, just don't become a monk yet. 63 00:04:37,323 --> 00:04:38,244 But start looking at it. 64 00:04:38,684 --> 00:04:39,845 Try to be celibate for a while. 65 00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:40,586 See what happens. 66 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:44,390 Watch the sexual urges and really learn about them. 67 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,233 Take it as a laboratory experiment. 68 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,414 It's much more conducive. 69 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,776 There's no reason to be promiscuous. 70 00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:52,178 There's no reason to be polygamous. 71 00:04:52,878 --> 00:04:53,999 It doesn't do you any good. 72 00:04:54,039 --> 00:04:55,401 It doesn't make you more happy. 73 00:04:55,441 --> 00:04:57,042 What good is it? 74 00:04:57,202 --> 00:04:59,785 It just makes you less satisfied. 75 00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:01,129 It doesn't make you a better person. 76 00:05:01,169 --> 00:05:02,493 It doesn't make you a happier person. 77 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:03,797 It doesn't make you more content. 78 00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:05,623 What good is it? 79 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,712 Better to go the other direction.