1
00:00:01,432 --> 00:00:08,005
There's a part of me that wants to give up every day.

2
00:00:08,786 --> 00:00:16,200
I like being depressed, but at the same time I know I shouldn't be like this.

3
00:00:16,902 --> 00:00:18,124
I don't know what to do.

4
00:00:20,163 --> 00:00:21,185
wants to give up.

5
00:00:21,346 --> 00:00:29,343
I assume you mean that in a bad way, like wants to kill yourself, wants to give up trying and so on.

6
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,989
Because actually giving up is a really good thing.

7
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:39,285
I had one student once and she was really difficult.

8
00:00:40,143 --> 00:01:05,037
and why i pushed her i made her made it really difficult for she came to me and she said i want to kill myself i said good good kill yourself and then keep practicing and i said this to her ended up saying this to her several times she said oh i want to die yes yes die first and then continue practicing then start again and then i would explain what i mean you know dying is giving up the idea of self giving up

9
00:01:05,017 --> 00:01:07,601
All of this stuff that you're clinging to.

10
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:09,144
Let go.

11
00:01:09,184 --> 00:01:10,727
Yeah, letting go is good.

12
00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:15,275
There was one monk, he said, well, you know, the Buddha was pretty bummed out before he went forth.

13
00:01:16,717 --> 00:01:18,981
So it's not wrong to be depressed.

14
00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:21,726
You're depressed about things that are pretty depressing.

15
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:34,142
generally depressed about our inability to fit in with people who are interested in what turned out to be quite useless and even harmful things.

16
00:01:35,264 --> 00:01:44,676
We're depressed that we can't succeed in a world where success is measured by our ability to defeat other people.

17
00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:56,275
We are depressed about the meaninglessness of a life and a world, existence, which turns out to be quite meaningless.

18
00:01:57,277 --> 00:01:58,358
And so giving up is great.

19
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:07,814
Giving up in the same vein as someone would kill themselves is actually, if channeled in the right direction, is a great thing.

20
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,837
Because killing yourself isn't the answer.

21
00:02:09,817 --> 00:02:12,401
Unfortunately, when you die, you're just born again.

22
00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:13,222
That's the problem.

23
00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:14,283
The mind doesn't go anywhere.

24
00:02:14,303 --> 00:02:15,004
They're still clinging.

25
00:02:15,545 --> 00:02:16,406
It's not killing yourself.

26
00:02:16,446 --> 00:02:25,319
Killing yourself is a great thing because truly killing yourself is on the mental front.

27
00:02:25,419 --> 00:02:26,641
It's the killing of the self.

28
00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:31,889
The idea that there is some reality there.

29
00:02:31,949 --> 00:02:39,199
The idea that this is who I am, this me who lives in society is somehow real.

30
00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,947
Killing yourself doesn't come from destroying the body.

31
00:02:43,987 --> 00:02:47,051
That's not killing the self.

32
00:02:47,071 --> 00:02:48,212
Killing the self is letting go.

33
00:02:48,953 --> 00:03:09,338
When you let go and when you live your life from moment to moment without thinking about the past or the future, without worrying about who you are or who you should be or who you could be, then you will have no suffering.

34
00:03:14,397 --> 00:03:17,203
So that's the first thing I would say.

35
00:03:17,243 --> 00:03:21,613
The second part, it's like I like being depressed.

36
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:30,634
This is a danger because you get... We rather than solve the problem, we...

37
00:03:32,116 --> 00:03:41,349
content ourselves with wallowing in self-pity, unconsciously reassuring ourselves that we're doing our duty.

38
00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:46,877
Being depressed is an answer, in a sense.

39
00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:48,500
It becomes our answer.

40
00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:52,946
It's just, yes, yes, I know things are horrible.

41
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,649
That's why I'm depressed.

42
00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:59,396
As though that were a viable solution to the problem.

43
00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:01,819
And that's dangerous.

44
00:04:01,799 --> 00:04:04,887
You have no benefit in being depressed and you have to see that.

45
00:04:06,290 --> 00:04:10,701
All you have to do is meditate on the depression and you'll see how meaningless it is.

46
00:04:10,721 --> 00:04:12,385
You'll see how useless it is.

47
00:04:13,428 --> 00:04:15,693
You'll look at the depression and you'll see it disappear in a second.

48
00:04:15,794 --> 00:04:18,340
And you'll wonder, like, what's wrong?

49
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,705
We miss a lot about meditation.

50
00:04:20,725 --> 00:04:22,468
We don't realize that it's actually working.

51
00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:26,816
Because you meditate on it and then it disappears and you think, now what?

52
00:04:27,818 --> 00:04:29,561
And you don't get it that actually it just worked.

53
00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:30,864
The depression is gone.

54
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:31,805
Move on.

55
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:36,715
But we cling and we are comfortable with things.

56
00:04:37,055 --> 00:04:40,041
We become comfortable in our suffering.

57
00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,403
So that's dangerous.

58
00:04:41,463 --> 00:04:43,225
You have to be very clear with yourself.

59
00:04:43,245 --> 00:04:48,932
Not to stop the depression or even to worry about it or be upset about the depression.

60
00:04:49,773 --> 00:04:52,417
But to be honest with yourself about the depression.

61
00:04:52,457 --> 00:04:55,781
Because being upset about the depression is your way of defending it.

62
00:04:56,382 --> 00:04:57,984
It's your way of keeping yourself in it.

63
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:02,109
You can even say, yes, yes, I know I shouldn't be depressed.

64
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,252
Yes, I'm such an awful person.

65
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,453
It makes you more depressed.

66
00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:08,577
And therefore you're less inclined to change.

67
00:05:09,822 --> 00:05:10,944
That's the second part.

68
00:05:12,047 --> 00:05:20,364
The third part where you say, at the same time I know it shouldn't be like this, well the question is how should it be then?

69
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:29,603
And once it is that way, how can you keep it that way?

70
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:40,542
Because you can't force things to be in a certain way or another.

71
00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:41,484
You have two choices.

72
00:05:41,704 --> 00:05:44,570
One, think things should be otherwise than what they are.

73
00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:46,393
Or two, deal with the way they are.

74
00:05:46,454 --> 00:05:50,963
And I don't think there's much doubt about which is the better way.

75
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,127
The...

76
00:05:55,908 --> 00:06:04,986
There can be no comparison between wishing that things were otherwise than they are and dealing with things as they are, coming to terms with things as they are.

77
00:06:05,046 --> 00:06:12,680
My teacher always reminds us, the Buddha always reminded us, don't worry about the past, don't worry about the future, make the present moment the best it can be.

78
00:06:13,642 --> 00:06:17,089
This is how my teacher always puts it, make the present moment the best it can be.

79
00:06:17,069 --> 00:06:34,065
again and again he reminds us and that's really all it is you don't have to solve the past you don't have to solve the future you don't have to make things better because when you cling to your idea of the way things are better it will one day be like that

80
00:06:34,045 --> 00:07:00,593
and then you lose it and then it'll change again you cling to it and then it won't be like that again this very thing that what you have to do is learn to or remind yourself that see this as a a lesson that things can change in this way things can be the way you wish and later not be the way you wish and so

81
00:07:02,598 --> 00:07:07,145
admit to yourself that you need a better way.

82
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,929
You can't rely on things to be the way you want.

83
00:07:11,351 --> 00:07:18,702
And so whether you know that things, what you mean by that is that they should be, you should be like an enlightened being or not.

84
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:24,291
The way to enlightenment is not by wishing or thinking about how things could be.

85
00:07:25,152 --> 00:07:26,715
It's about dealing with the way things are.

86
00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:27,936
So deal with your depression.

87
00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:28,597
Look at it.

88
00:07:28,818 --> 00:07:30,360
Live with it.

89
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:31,622
Study it.

90
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:34,829
Study it like it were a project of yours.

91
00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:37,474
Like you were depressed on purpose just so you could learn about it.

92
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:42,162
And don't be depressed on purpose, but think of it as just how it should be.

93
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,026
Yes, yes, this is important.

94
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,252
It's important for me to be depressed so I can learn about depression.

95
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:51,522
I mean, not to the extent that you encourage it, because you shouldn't encourage anything.

96
00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:53,206
You should just learn about what is.

97
00:07:53,226 --> 00:07:59,261
And once you learn about what is, then you understand about everything.

98
00:07:59,962 --> 00:08:01,666
Because what is, is.

99
00:08:01,706 --> 00:08:03,250
And that's all that is.