1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:11,748 How can one deal with social pressure, status, money, put upon oneself to get the expectations of close relatives and friends fulfilled? 2 00:00:12,569 --> 00:00:17,576 How can I explain to them the ideas of Buddhism? 3 00:00:17,596 --> 00:00:19,899 Explaining Buddhism to others is very difficult. 4 00:00:24,446 --> 00:00:25,087 It can be done. 5 00:00:25,127 --> 00:00:27,490 The best thing is to 6 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:33,728 practice yourself and be a source of information for people. 7 00:00:34,771 --> 00:00:39,640 So you should not try to impose Buddhism on others, proselytize. 8 00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:49,360 The most effective form of proselytizing 9 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:54,091 that I've seen is the Mormons, I think. 10 00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:56,497 Probably the Jehovah's Witnesses are the same. 11 00:00:56,938 --> 00:01:00,607 But the Mormons, they don't push their religion on you. 12 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,070 They just come visit you. 13 00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:07,483 Then they just sit there and talk to you. 14 00:01:07,463 --> 00:01:09,907 and let you ask them questions. 15 00:01:09,927 --> 00:01:10,888 That's what it seems to me. 16 00:01:10,908 --> 00:01:12,691 Or maybe they're just afraid of me, so they don't. 17 00:01:13,071 --> 00:01:19,341 But they would just sit there and I'd be able to put all my questions to them and test them out and scrutinize. 18 00:01:19,541 --> 00:01:25,930 And they end up being very approachable and likable. 19 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:32,640 And you can see that that's really, that seemed to be how they got the good word out there. 20 00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:37,167 Just by being kind and approachable, being nice people. 21 00:01:37,147 --> 00:01:48,904 by being real people and by being fallible, by not pretending to be all-knowing, omnipotent beings with all the answers. 22 00:01:49,725 --> 00:01:56,235 Once you become self-righteous or 23 00:01:56,215 --> 00:02:05,390 To become sure of yourself, then you really lose people, dogmatic and so on. 24 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:14,646 But when you talk about your experiences, rather than pretending or trying to be Buddha, trying to say, I have to be Buddha. 25 00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:21,637 in order to help these people and answer their questions, just answer as best you can. 26 00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:22,859 Say, you know, I really don't know. 27 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,467 For example, the best example we have is Asaji, who was an Arahant. 28 00:02:28,389 --> 00:02:33,597 And yet when he was asked, after becoming an Arahant, five days into his practice, 29 00:02:33,577 --> 00:03:02,655 after being asked by Upatissa what is the Buddha taught the first thing he said is I'm only newly gone forth I don't have a good comprehensive understanding of this teaching which is true that he didn't because only a Buddha can have that kind of understanding so he hadn't gained all this knowledge that he would gain by being in close contact with the Buddha over time even as an Arahant 30 00:03:02,635 --> 00:03:13,553 So it's important to be fallible, to not pretend to be something you're not, and to just talk about why you've practiced Buddhism and what benefit you see in it. 31 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:26,334 And explain that, yeah, you're not, you don't really know, but you've talked to these people, and it really is logical, it's reasonable, it seems to work. 32 00:03:26,635 --> 00:03:28,558 When you put it into practice, 33 00:03:28,538 --> 00:03:35,627 do seem to feel happier and more peaceful, which is really what we're trying to gain. 34 00:03:36,909 --> 00:03:53,972 When you clear your mind up at that moment, when you're able to be clear in mind, when you're able to give up worldly pursuits and give up the requirements that are put on you by society, 35 00:03:53,952 --> 00:03:56,257 then you really find true peace and happiness. 36 00:03:56,297 --> 00:04:14,475 And so as a result, you find it difficult to be ambitious about things which you know are really going to just bring you stress and suffering and dissatisfaction and ultimately disappointment. 37 00:04:17,054 --> 00:04:25,128 So talking openly, because really what you're dealing with is other people's neuroses, other people's brainwashing and conditioning that these things are good. 38 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:36,829 When you deal with people who have expectations for you, well those expectations were pushed into them, were ingrained into them by society, by parents. 39 00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:38,893 Sometimes they were beaten as children. 40 00:04:38,873 --> 00:04:50,050 Our parents may have had a horrible child, very repressive childhoods that have caused them to be as a result repressive towards us and demanding of us. 41 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:58,924 And friends are totally indoctrinated by society. 42 00:04:58,904 --> 00:05:01,727 So they always come back and tell us how we're indoctrinated. 43 00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:04,229 We had a woman, everyone said she was brainwashed. 44 00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:14,998 All these people who are totally brainwashed by society into thinking and believing such ridiculous things that are irrational and that they'll even accept as being irrational. 45 00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:20,784 Like someone came and said he knows that attachments are wrong. 46 00:05:20,884 --> 00:05:22,665 Buddha taught this and I know it. 47 00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:24,327 But still we have these. 48 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:28,911 And then they can turn around and call us brainwashed, right? 49 00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:35,087 When really, if they're honest with themselves, they can see that they're brainwashed. 50 00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:51,086 So be honest and be demanding and not be expecting too much because given the fact that these are really mental states that they have to deal with, the only thing that's going to really help them is meditation. 51 00:05:52,107 --> 00:05:58,915 And people who are meditative, people who are letting go, not people who are putting expectations on them. 52 00:05:58,895 --> 00:06:06,706 So it would be wrong for you to expect them to give up their expectations, but you should be a sounding board, like a blotter almost. 53 00:06:07,427 --> 00:06:22,187 You pick up and just take in their, like a vacuum, you take in their stresses and their requirements and you listen and you accept them, but you don't react to them. 54 00:06:23,388 --> 00:06:28,395 And when they get angry at you and call you a loser, a bum and so on, accept it. 55 00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:34,882 and react with it rationally and as though they were talking about someone else. 56 00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:40,168 If someone came to you and said, that guy's a bum, well, you'd be able to react rationally. 57 00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:44,173 That person is useless and I want that person to do this and that. 58 00:06:44,754 --> 00:06:55,546 You'd be able to look and say, well, you know, sometimes people, you can't force people to do things or whatever, or this is just leading you to suffering. 59 00:06:55,566 --> 00:06:58,129 If they don't do this, you're just going to suffer. 60 00:06:58,109 --> 00:07:03,850 So kind of taking yourself out of the picture, which is accomplished by giving up self and so on.