I have not given up normal life just yet, but I fluctuate between the peace of practice and dealing with real life.
How can I deal with the fluctuations of normal life?
Don't give it up.
Don't deal with it.
I don't know.
I ran away from it.
I gave it up.
I said it's not for me.
I don't have advice.
Well, I suppose I do.
But no, it's very pertinent.
That's what we were just talking about.
Well, I think an answer I can give along the lines that I just did that's a little more explanatory is that that's what you have to deal with.
What you're describing is reality.
You are standing with two feet.
I don't know what the saying is.
You're sitting on the fence.
I don't know.
Both your feet are in different rooms.
And so...
Until you decide one or the other, or until you are able to give up normal life, you're not going to find perfect peace of practice.
You're not going to be able to find harmony.
When you say give up normal life, though, you're probably, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you're probably not describing what the normal everyday person would think of in terms of normal life.
When you're thinking in terms of normal life, you're thinking about
life with less desires, material desires, less stress in your life, less anxiety about the future, less guilt?
No, no, I mean, I'm referring to his idea of normal life in terms of
the other side, the stress part, because he's saying fluctuating between peace of practice and real life, sorry, but he says he hasn't given up normal life.
So what he means by he hasn't given up whatever that is, the normal life in terms of a normal lay person.
I'm thinking of that as the other side of the coin, the bad side.
Normal life being a normal, non-monastic, non-Buddhist, crazy life.
But what I was pointing out, the normal life for most of us is a combination of all those various...
parts of our lives.
The anxiety, the frustration, the anger, the desire, the ignorance.
You don't get rid of that by becoming a monk or any such thing.
But if you don't put yourself in a position to deal with those things directly on a sustained and long-term basis, then yeah, there's no end.
It shouldn't be a question.
You can just bemoan the fact that you have to do it.
It's an observation.
Your observation is quite astute that that's the way it is.
And many people come to this observation, but the problem is they tend to come to it as a question, asking me, how do I make it perfect so I can have my cake and eat it too?
Which is basically, I think, unfortunately, what it is that you're describing, it seems to me.
And so rather than trying to find a static way to deal with it, slowly move yourself towards what you think is the better option.
I mean, obviously you accept the fact that meditation brings peace because you say it.
I don't suppose you think that normal life brings a similar peace.
So accept the fact that one is better than the other and start moving towards the one that is better.
As best you can.
So that calls for more meditation.
Well, no, no, actually.
It calls for, well, yes, but it also calls for making steps to provide yourself with a situation where you can undertake more meditation, changing things about your life.
But one of the best ways to do that is, yes, I agree, to do more meditation, mini meds, as you say, and being mindful more in daily life, that kind of thing, will change your life.
Now, what I was going to say is if you can't do that, if you're at your limit, you've maxed out your Dhamma credit card and you really have to, you know, you have children, for example, or you have debts or obligations of other sorts to your parents, for example, then you just have to accept.
And learn an important lesson is that actually meditation is not necessarily going, doesn't necessarily need to be peaceful.
An arahat can have a lot of
difficult situations and can appear to be faced with a lot of suffering.
The difference is they don't suffer based on it.
Arahant, enlightened person's life may not be and I would say oftentimes is not roses and clover, is not just fun and game or not just peace and happiness.
Well, it's not
calm waters.
An Arahant will be surrounded by their karmic buddies who have come to square up their karmic differences.
So a lot of crazy things can happen.
Bad people can surround Arahants because of their bad past karma.
Crazy things.
And so we should be willing to follow that example and accept the fact that our lives, even as monks, very much so, even as monks, may not be peaceful, calm, tranquil.
We may have to deal with a lot of crazy stuff.
We do.
We do have to.