Just a moment.
Okay.
Ready?
Go for it.
I try and do things that you say to do, but because I'm still at school, I need to listen and do other stuff, so it causes me to not relax if you get me.
What would you say to do?
And the reason I chose this one is because I feel like it
applies to everybody because at some point in the day you feel like you're working and so you're doing something purely intellectual and it's hard to be mindful at that moment when you're trying to do something it's just intellectual
So the way I see it is there are gonna be times when it's easy to be mindful and times when it's gonna be hard.
And while you're trying to complete a task, it may be difficult or impossible, at least in some capacity.
So I think
you can be mindful as much as is possible.
But if you're doing something that's just an intellectual exercise, like adding numbers or anything that you do at work or school, just...
I don't know, don't be guilty because you can't be mindful of every single moment.
You just be mindful of the moments that you can.
So that's where I would start.
For sure, that's very good advice.
And don't be turned off when things are difficult.
Another thing is that difficult meditation...
I mean, it's not really the problem of the meditation at all.
It strikes me that maybe part of your problem is not the work that you're doing, but your understanding of what the meditation is.
Because you say something about
Your need to work causes you not to relax.
Well, unfortunately, the meditation, unfortunately, fortunately actually, the meditation is not for the purpose of causing you to relax.
I mean, if you're in a relaxing environment, it may very well be that you are relaxed.
If you're in a stressful environment, it's probably the case that you're going to be stressed.
If you have to work, nothing can stop you from being stressed during your work.
You can try to force yourself not to be stressed.
This tends to cause even more stress, and in the long run will only have negative effects.
So the point is that the stress and the practice are two different things.
There are times for sure when you won't be able to be mindful.
As Desmond said, you try to be mindful when you can.
When you're not mindful, you accept that you can't be mindful.
When you can be mindful, often the feeling comes up that it's useless, right?
Because you're mindful but you're still not relaxed.
So then what point is it?
Obviously meditation doesn't work in this situation, right?
Well, wrong.
Meditation isn't for the purpose, as I said, of making you relaxed.
It's for the purpose of helping you to deal with situations that are not relaxing.
So, as I said, with the anxiety question, it's learning to experience the physical results of stress for what they are, without reacting to them, without needing them to change.
When you're tense, when your body is stressed and you have a headache, meditate on the stress and the headache.
Meditate on the tension.
Meditate on what's there.
Don't expect it to go away.
Don't expect to be relaxed.
But come to see the difference between the body and the mind.
I mean, when I do these sessions and I have to set up the computer, I feel all headachy and so on.
But I look at the headache and I say, well, that's just a headache.
It's just a feeling.
You meditate on the feeling.
You don't expect it to go away.
You don't think of it as something wrong.
You don't think of it as a sign that you're destroying yourself or so on.
You just see it as a headache.
When you have tension in the body, sometimes my neck from sitting here like this.
And then she says, Michi Jai says that it's because we eat too much coconut oil.
And I think it's from the tension of sitting in front of the computer as well.
So sometimes when I'm sitting here for a while, then my neck starts to hurt.
So sometimes you think, wow, it's a sign that I'm really, I'm destroying myself.
There was this man who was here recently.
He tried to explain to me how he had, this exact thing had happened to him.
He had really
He had a problem that was caused by the computer This is basically how he put it something almost exactly there.
I don't know if he's listening now or not, but And so I explained to him I said, you know really that's just the idea that's in your head the the truth of it is there's a feeling that arises here and now it may have some causes and conditions that arose in the past but I
Those are gone now.
What's here and now is a feeling.
It arises and ceases and it's really meaningless.
It can't hurt you.
It can't cause you to suffer unless you let it.
This is what the meditation is all about.
It's about experiencing things objectively as they are.
Try to be patient and learn or come to understand the possibility of meditation without relaxation.
Happiness without happiness.
Happiness without pleasure.
So everything can be going horribly and yet inside you still have happiness.
This is very difficult to see.
You can have a headache and be happy.
Difficult.
People can be yelling at you and you can be happy.
You can be arguing with people and still be totally removed from the argument.
Maybe not entirely but
You know, it's very difficult when you're arguing, talking and talking and talking, but it actually is possible.
You can, like as I'm talking now, I can be mindful of it.
I can be mindful of my lips moving.
I can recognize this is a feeling that arises in the throat and in the lips and in the head and recognize the thoughts and the emotions and the happinesses and the unhappinesses and worries and stresses that arise.
and actually can meditate while you're talking even.
Because the thing is, the intention to talk arises, and then already it begins.
I think I've talked about this before.
And then the mouth starts to work.
And that's more or less automatic.
And without even thinking about it, you can let the mouth continue to talk, and at the same time say to yourself, feeling, feeling yourself.
But for sure, at every moment you can do it.
When you feel happy about something, you focus on the happiness.
If you're unhappy, at first it won't seem to have any effect because, as you say, it's not relaxing.
But if you compare doing that with not doing that, with just engaging and reacting to everything, the experience afterwards is incredibly different.
And the result is incredibly different.
The result of being mindful in this way is totally different, in a good way, than reacting blindly to everything that arises.
So if at least from time to time you can get yourself back on track, the emotions and the reactions and so on,
acknowledging at least sometimes, you'll find that you're much better off at the end of the day.
Your mind is much clearer and you've actually filed things in their appropriate slots so that you can sleep without dreaming and clinging and so on.
Anybody else want to add something there?
How does everyone else deal with work that they have to do mindfully?
Miriam, how's school going?
Are you mindful at school?
You know what?
Maybe we should even talk about it.
Okay, okay.
All right.
Well, you have work to do then.
Desmond.
If you go with the expectation that being mindful is going to make you relaxed all the time, then that's not a realistic, that's not even the goal.
It's not a realistic expectation either.
It's just going to make it worse, no?
Yeah.
I mean, you're running in the opposite direction if you sit down and you think, I'm going to be relaxed now.
Yeah.