I've lied to two people for a long time.
I'm finding it hard to face the fear of possibly losing them if I tell them the truth, but I'm not happy now knowing that I'm lying.
What's the right thing to do?
Well, you don't have to tell the truth.
Just don't lie.
There's this Zen story that goes, if
So it's a, I don't know, Zen story, some Buddhist quote unquote Buddhist story that goes, that tries to point out skillful means that sometimes you have to do an evil thing for a good purpose.
And this monk once told us this story.
They were asking about lying, and he said, well, you know, sometimes you can do bad things for a good purpose, and it's obviously the right thing to do.
So he said, suppose there's a hunter.
You're standing in the woods, and you see a rabbit go by.
And it goes down one path, and then the hunter comes along.
And he asks you, which way did the rabbit go?
Well, obviously the right thing to do, he said, is to lie.
say to him, well, the rabbit went down that way.
It's good for both of them.
And Sam Harris has this wonderful argument against that sort of thing.
But I asked the monk, I said, well, what about just not saying anything?
Sam Harris, he says this as well.
He says, I wouldn't tell you if I knew, kind of thing.
And his point is that that opens up a dialogue.
You might not say it rough like that, but you might say, well, I'm sorry, but for me this is a horrible thing you're doing, and so on and so on.
You stick to your principles.
It could happen that he then beats you up or even shoots you, right?
But this is your path.
This is...
This is the way your life is going.
You are in a position now that is very difficult.
You have demands put on you and the potential to lose, I guess, to lose something, right?
Right, yes, that's exactly what you're saying.
The fear of possibly losing them if I tell them the truth.
And so you think the better course of action is to lie to them in order to keep them.
So you have to ask yourself which is more important, your peace of mind, your clarity of mind, your happiness, or keeping what you think is yours and what you cling to, what you want and hold on to.
For a Buddhist, it's a painful decision to make, but it's not a difficult decision to make.
There's this very famous book called Les Miserables by, what's his name, some guy in France, Victor Hugo, yes.
And there's a wonderful point in this book where this man, if he doesn't tell the truth, someone innocent is going to be put in jail.
if he does tell the truth he's going to be put in jail and many people who depend on him for happiness are going to suffer as a result the whole town that he's he's the mayor of this town and it's going to destroy the whole industry of this that he's built up in this town
And he's so racking his brain, and there's this woman who depends on him as well.
He almost goes insane trying to answer this question.
And you feel for him.
And in the end, you know what is the right answer.
But the author sets it up as the most difficult decision that has an obvious answer.
And so this is how we understand it.
It's painful, but it's correct.
And if it's correct, it's correct.
This is a problem that we have in the world, is that it's correct, but I can't.
Ridiculous.
Horrible.
How can you say such a thing?
How can you be so dishonest with yourself?
We are.
I'm not criticizing.
How is it that we can be so... How dare we be dishonest with ourselves when we know that something is the right thing to do and yet don't do it?
This is what we have to remind ourselves of.
Because we do this.
We say, it's right, but I can't bring myself to do it.
How dare we?
Not how dare we, but how absurd of us.
How can we possibly hold such an absurd opinion?
To not do the correct thing by any means, for any reason.
If it's correct, it's correct.
And it should be that way no matter what.
Sometimes you have to just hold your nose and dive in.
Plug your nose and dive in.
Hold your breath and dive in.
You don't know where it's going to lead you, but you know it's correct.
You know at the very least it's going to lead you to peace.
It's going to lead you to happiness.
It may destroy everything you've worked very hard to build up, but it's the correct thing to do.
And that supersedes everything, supersedes all concerns.
If it's correct you must do it, no matter how difficult it is.